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Is Low Self-Esteem Making You Vulnerable to Depression?

By Elizabeth Venzin
Posted in http://psychcentral.com/

Low self-esteem makes us feel bad about ourselves. But did you know that over time it also can cause the development of serious mental conditions such as depression?

Low self-esteem is an important indicator used by clinicians as one possible symptom when they diagnose a depressive disorder. But did the low self-esteem cause the depression or vice versa? Researchers have long wondered about the chicken-and-egg problem of self-esteem and depression. Certainly, if you dislike yourself, you’ll be more likely to be depressed. Conversely, if you’re depressed, you’ll be more likely to feel bad about who you are as a person.

The only way to disentangle the highly related concepts of self-esteem and depression is through longitudinal research, in which people are followed up over time. A study on depression, conducted by University of Basel researchers Julia Sowislo and Ulrich Orth, contrasted the competing directions of self-esteem to depression vs. depression to self-esteem.

The findings almost all overwhelmingly support the vulnerability model of self-esteem and depression. Over time, low self-esteem is a risk factor for depression, regardless of who is tested and how. The study indicated that low self-esteem causes depression but not vice versa.

Therefore, if a person has low self-esteem, there’s an increased risk of developing depression. This is a very important discovery because it shows that improving a person’s self-esteem can make him or her feel better.

The study concluded that there is convincing evidence to support the vulnerability effect of low self-esteem on depression.

According to Dr. Lars Madsen, Australian clinical psychologist and self-esteem specialist, the reality often is that self-esteem is a key factor in both the development and maintenance of depression. A person with low self-esteem takes things personally, and in a negative way.

People with low self-esteem try not to disprove but to verify their negative self-concept by seeking negative feedback from the people in their network. They think about their inadequacies, focus on the negative feedback they receive from others, ponder that feedback, and as a result become more depressed. Their negative mood also leads them to be perceived more negatively by others, which leads them to feel hurt and rejected.

Madsen also confirms the rarity of studies on self-esteem and depression that allow for any causal arguments to be made. However, the comprehensive study noted above concluded that the best way to protect your positive mood is to find ways to boost your self-esteem.

Reference

Sowislo, J., & Orth, U. (2013). Does low self-esteem predict depression and anxiety? A meta-analysis of longitudinal studies. Psychological Bulletin, 139(1), 213-240. doi:10.1037/a0028931
Posted in http://psychcentral.com/

How Self-Esteem Keeps People From God


By Dan Delzell , Special to CP
May 21, 2013|7:03 am
Article from http://www.christianpost.com/news/


It sounds so positive and affirming. After all, everyone deserves to have a ton of self-esteem, right? With all the bullying and other belittling behavior which takes place these days, doesn't it just make sense that we should want all people to hold themselves in high esteem?

Yes and no. While it is true that we don't want people to live in self-hatred, it is also true that "self" tends to be awfully narcissistic. This tendency gets demonstrated every time you flatter yourself, or disparage yourself. Either way, "self" will sure soak up all the attention you are willing to give it. And that's where the rub comes in.

As long as I am focused on myself, I am not focused on Jesus. And why is that such a big deal you may ask? Because only Jesus can bring us to the Father, and only Jesus can give us true peace and contentment. An obsession with self, be it critical or complimentary, only leads to more pride and a consuming focus on "me."

It may not seem to you like being critical of yourself is a form of pride, but it's just as detrimental as being arrogant. It keeps your mind and your thoughts on your "self." It hinders you from bringing all of your concerns and your sins to God. That's because like everyone else, you are by nature someone who loves to think about yourself. And in our culture today, that tendency gets multiplied many times over by the obsession with fame, fortune, popularity, and status. "Look at me. Look what I've done, or what I've got. How impressive!"

Think of it this way. Picture a throne sitting at the center of your heart. And there is only room on that throne for one person. Who will it be? Will that throne be occupied by me, or by Christ, or perhaps by someone else? I'll tell you this much. 

Whoever is sitting on that throne today is someone you tend to think about a lot. He or she is dominant in your mind because of their position of authority on the throne. And everybody has someone on the throne of their heart, whether they realize it or not.

"Who will be my king today, when I work and when I play? Who will lead me as I go, who will others come to know? Do I shine the light on me, or is this throne occupied by Thee?"

You get to decide who is going to be the focus of your work, and your free time, and at the center of your relationships. God has given us free will, and He provides the grace necessary to focus on Christ rather than on "self."

One of the interesting things about self-esteem is that it actually makes a person feel acutely vulnerable. It causes you to become overly sensitive when others criticize you, or when they don't give you your "fair share." Self-esteem does nothing to promote a love for others. It just amplifies a love for self, which we already have plenty of from the moment we come into this world.

The Bible tells us that "love is not easily angered," and it "keeps no record of wrongs." (1 Cor. 13:5) That's a far cry from the fruit of self-esteem, which tends to become angry quite easily. It also keeps score of wrongs done to it. That is the flesh pure and simple. Man's natural state can flare up in anger at the drop of a hat. And the more self-esteem that gets pumped into you through well-meaning mentors, the less you will be inclined to bring your sins to Jesus for His pardon and power.

In fact, the ongoing quest for more self-esteem will only make you less interested in the things of God. It can develop into such an obsession that you don't even realize how far it has taken you from God. An honest self-inventory is then viewed as potentially damaging to your "healthy self-esteem," and so you avoid those situations or people who might mention your sins to you. Who wants to hear that? We would much rather be told that we are doing everything perfectly in God's eyes, or at least pretend that we are perfect.

It would be fair to say that some people actually worship at "the altar of self-esteem." It is their god. It is the love of their life. They can stand in front of the mirror and gaze into the eyes of this god for hours on end. It's a god they can see, and a god they can believe in. But it's a god who will never satisfy the needs of their soul. All this god does is make people insecure, sensitive, and selfish. That's not exactly the kind of fruit which will benefit others in the community, or in the family.

Self-esteem leads people to take things personally when they are given correction. The love of God gives a person confidence to readily confess sin and shortcomings, and then move forward in the grace and forgiveness of our Savior. It is so liberating to live with a heart full of God's love. Conversely, it is terribly confining to always feel driven to meet the needs of your god of self-esteem. He is not a forgiving god, and not someone you can trust.

"Wait a minute? You mean I cannot trust myself." That is correct, at least not fully. You are imperfect. You are sinful. You get ideas that are wrong. We all do. And so no, you cannot fully trust yourself. And why would you want to do that anyway when you can rely on God for the wisdom and direction you need. It's time to get rid of the crazy notion that your "self" can do more for you than God can do. Only the Lord can bring you the peace you desire at the deepest level of your existence.

Self-esteem covers up your deepest needs. It simply masks it, but it doesn't address it. It becomes a wall a person builds to protect himself from honestly addressing his own sinfulness and need for God.

I should give you a warning at this point. If you are someone who has been brainwashed about your purported need for self-esteem, you probably are feeling a little uneasy on the inside right about now. There is someone in there who is feeling a little threatened. He doesn't want to show himself for fear of being found out. He or she would rather stay hidden behind the wall. It would be a huge mistake for you to keep giving into the pitiful whining and demands of "self."

It's time to let him be exposed for who he is, namely, a sinner in need of God's grace. It's OK to admit it. In fact, it is the only way to remove that god from your altar and the throne of your heart. He must be deposed. He must be stripped of his authority in your life.

Hmm. Sounds a lot like the New Testament. Notice what happens to "I" and "me" and "self" when a person becomes a believer. St. Paul summed it up well: "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me." (Galatians 2:20)

So there it is. A new sheriff has come to town. A new ruler sits on the throne of your heart. And a new obsession, this time on King Jesus rather than on "self."

Could it really be this easy? That's just it. It's easy to become a believer. It is difficult to live everyday denying self and living for Christ. You need to hear that on the front end so that you never come back and claim you were not told that Christianity isn't always a bed of roses.

The ongoing challenge for every believer here on earth is that in the midst of the beautiful rose garden of God's love in my soul, there is also a "zombie-like" creature attempting to come up out of the dirt and back to life in my thinking and my living. That zombie is named "self." And he liked it much better when I was addicted to constantly paying homage to this god of "self-esteem."

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come." (2 Cor. 5:17)

It is hopeless to try to fix or heal "self." He is a lost cause. Forget about him or her. Your new identity in Christ is the only path to freedom, joy, forgiveness, and true love. So don't allow your "self" to keep you from coming to God with your sins, burdens, hurts, fears, hopes and dreams.

Perhaps you have always had an inkling that self-esteem was vastly overrated. Now you know why you felt that way.



Dan Delzell is the pastor of Wellspring Lutheran Church in Papillion, Neb. He is a regular contributor to The Christian Post.

Dan Delzell , Special to CP
May 21, 2013|7:03 am
Article from http://www.christianpost.com/news/

What Really Strengthens Self-Esteem


By MARGARITA TARTAKOVSKY, M.S.
Article from http://psychcentral.com/lib/2012/

Self-esteem gets a bad rap. Some view self-esteem as arrogance, narcissism or selfishness. It’s anything but.

Individuals with healthy self-esteem are humble and recognize all people’s worth, according to Glenn R. Schiraldi, Ph.D., author of The Self-Esteem Workbook and a professor at the University of Maryland School of Public Health. They’re also realistic. Those with good self-esteem are able to realistically and honestly evaluate their strengths, weaknesses and potential.

According to Schiraldi, self-esteem consists of three elements: unconditional love, unconditional worth and growth — “a deep, quiet inner security that is not easily shaken under duress or after a disappointing performance.”

Research has found positive links between healthy self-esteem and many desirable outcomes, including happiness, humility, resilience and optimism. Studies show that low self-esteem is related to stress, depression and anxiety.

Some psychologists believe that self-esteem stays where it is permanently. In other words, if you have low self-esteem, there’s nothing you can do to improve it. Schiraldi disagrees and sees several reasons for this misunderstanding. “Usually, criticism springs from simplistic, or sometimes false, definitions, lack of understanding about how it changes, and measurement challenges,” he said. Improving self-esteem is not a quick or easy process, he noted, and simplistic interventions don’t work. It takes time and practice to genuinely enhance self-esteem.

Lisa Firestone, Ph.D, a clinical psychologist and co-author of Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice, also believes it’s possible to lift low self-esteem. She cites neuroplasticity as a major reason. Neuroplasticity is our brain’s ability to change structurally and functionally as a result of our environment.

What Doesn’t Work in Boosting Self-Esteem

Empty affirmations don’t work. Telling someone they’re smarter and better than others doesn’t boost self-esteem. Rather, it just sets people up for failure and a shaky self-esteem.

“Everyone doesn’t deserve a trophy for showing up, but everyone can feel that they have as much right to play and enjoy the process of improving as anyone else does,” Schiraldi said.

Strategies for Strengthening Self-Esteem

Practice healthy habits. According to Schiraldi, it’s important to prepare your brain — “maximizing the health, function and receptivity to new learning of neurons” — before studying new skills. This includes feeding your body nutritious foods, participating in physical activities, getting enough sleep and treating medical or psychological conditions. “For example, if one has been shamed by sexual abuse, it is usually critical to heal the emotional wounds before trying to get to a more positive place,” he said.

Recognize how you’re attacking yourself. Identify what you may be doing to perpetuate your low self-esteem, Firestone said. For instance, you might choose to surround yourself with toxic people who further sink your self-esteem. Or you might encourage others to talk down to you. Many people don’t voice their needs and let others speak for them.

Once you can recognize the ways you sabotage yourself, you can work through them. Take the example of articulating your needs. If you’re too passive to do so, learn how you can become more assertive. Start small: Ask your roommate to turn the music down, say no to an event you don’t want to attend or ask your server to have a cold entrée reheated.

Identify and challenge self-critical thoughts. Certain distorted thought patterns enable low self-esteem. A common distortion is personalizing, which Schiraldi describes in The Self-Esteem Workbook as “seeing yourself as more involved in negative events than you really are.” Maybe you take full responsibility for your spouse’s fatigue, your son failing his math final or your boss being mad.

In his book, Schiraldi offers two antidotes to personalizing. First, remember that you may be able to influence someone’s behavior but you certainly don’t cause it. “The final decision is theirs, not ours,” he writes. Next, look for other influences in a situation. Instead of believing that you can’t accomplish a certain project, acknowledge that it’s a tough task and you’re in a noisy environment.

You also can learn to challenge other negative thoughts, he said, such as: “I’m a loser,” “I can’t do anything,” or “I’m completely inadequate and will always be so.” To learn more, here are 15 cognitive distortions, how to fix them and more on challenging these distortions.

Find out who you are. A healthy self-esteem also means having a quiet gladness about who you are, Schiraldi said. But first you need to know who that person is. “Every individual must determine his or her own values, principles, and moral standards and live by them,” Firestone said.

What do you value in life? What matters to you? Once you can pinpoint your values, you might even realize that the very things you beat yourself up about have nothing to do with your goals. For instance, one of Firestone’s clients berated himself for not earning a high enough salary. But when he and Firestone explored his goals and dreams, he realized that doing meaningful work, helping others and spending time with his family were all more important than earning a specific income.

Getting to know yourself better also helps you assess your traits and determine which are in line with the kind of person you’d like to be, Firestone said. Another client realized that one of his core values is to be kind. But his interactions with his wife were antagonistic. He was so worried that his wife would attack him that he’d make preemptive strikes. He worked on finding ways to avoid being on the offensive.

Again, a healthy self-esteem doesn’t mean thinking you’re flawless; it means knowing realistically what you need to work on and making the necessary changes, Firestone said. If you’d like to be more social, start volunteering and join a book club. If you have a short fuse, see a therapist to work on your anger issues. If you don’t like that people walk all over you, read up on setting boundaries.

Learn what lights you up. People with low self-esteem often have a long can’t-do list, Firestone said. They may have incorrect ideas of what they’re capable of. What helps is to challenge these thoughts and try new activities. For instance, Firestone always thought of herself as a shy person until a friend encouraged her to try public speaking. She started slowly by doing presentations with her friend, attending other presentations to see what worked and practicing at home. Now, public speaking is a passion of hers. “Doing things that matter to you helps you build up confidence,” she said.

Appreciate your body. “The way we experience our bodies often parallels the way we experience our core selves, “according to Schiraldi. So if you’re tough on your body — bashing your weight, shape or wrinkles — you’ll likely be tough on your core and have a conditional self-esteem.

Appreciating your body with all its imperfections can help you cultivate a more accepting view of yourself as a whole. In The Self-Esteem Workbook, Schiraldi explains how amazing the body really is. For instance, did you know that the heart, which weighs just eleven ounces, pumps three thousand gallons of blood per day? “Technology cannot replicate the heart’s durability. The force of blood hurled against the aorta would quickly damage rigid pipes, while the flexible, tissue-thin valves of the heart are sturdier than any man-made materials,” he writes.

Accept your imperfections. Think of your best friend, partner or kids. Why do you love them? Undoubtedly it has little to do with their flawless traits. We don’t wait to love others until they’re perfect. If we did, as Schiraldi said, then no one would be loved.

“Love is a choice and a commitment that we make each day, despite our imperfections,” Schiraldi said. And we can make the same choice and commitment to love ourselves as well, warts and all. According to Schiraldi, what helps to cultivate self-acceptance is mindfulness, which teaches compassion for the self and others along with the ability to sit with painful emotions. (Here’s another way to cultivate self-compassion.)

Again, having a positive self-esteem isn’t selfish. It’s important for leading a fulfilling, healthy life, which in turn helps you help others.

Here are signs of low self-esteem. If you see yourself in them, you can use the tips outlined here to help.

Find out who you are. A healthy self-esteem also means having a quiet gladness about who you are, Schiraldi said. But first you need to know who that person is. “Every individual must determine his or her own values, principles, and moral standards and live by them,” Firestone said.

What do you value in life? What matters to you? Once you can pinpoint your values, you might even realize that the very things you beat yourself up about have nothing to do with your goals. For instance, one of Firestone’s clients berated himself for not earning a high enough salary. But when he and Firestone explored his goals and dreams, he realized that doing meaningful work, helping others and spending time with his family were all more important than earning a specific income.

Getting to know yourself better also helps you assess your traits and determine which are in line with the kind of person you’d like to be, Firestone said. Another client realized that one of his core values is to be kind. But his interactions with his wife were antagonistic. He was so worried that his wife would attack him that he’d make preemptive strikes. He worked on finding ways to avoid being on the offensive.

Again, a healthy self-esteem doesn’t mean thinking you’re flawless; it means knowing realistically what you need to work on and making the necessary changes, Firestone said. If you’d like to be more social, start volunteering and join a book club. If you have a short fuse, see a therapist to work on your anger issues. If you don’t like that people walk all over you, read up on setting boundaries.

Learn what lights you up. People with low self-esteem often have a long can’t-do list, Firestone said. They may have incorrect ideas of what they’re capable of. What helps is to challenge these thoughts and try new activities. For instance, Firestone always thought of herself as a shy person until a friend encouraged her to try public speaking. She started slowly by doing presentations with her friend, attending other presentations to see what worked and practicing at home. Now, public speaking is a passion of hers. “Doing things that matter to you helps you build up confidence,” she said.

Appreciate your body. “The way we experience our bodies often parallels the way we experience our core selves, “according to Schiraldi. So if you’re tough on your body — bashing your weight, shape or wrinkles — you’ll likely be tough on your core and have a conditional self-esteem.

Appreciating your body with all its imperfections can help you cultivate a more accepting view of yourself as a whole. In The Self-Esteem Workbook, Schiraldi explains how amazing the body really is. For instance, did you know that the heart, which weighs just eleven ounces, pumps three thousand gallons of blood per day? “Technology cannot replicate the heart’s durability. The force of blood hurled against the aorta would quickly damage rigid pipes, while the flexible, tissue-thin valves of the heart are sturdier than any man-made materials,” he writes.

Accept your imperfections. Think of your best friend, partner or kids. Why do you love them? Undoubtedly it has little to do with their flawless traits. We don’t wait to love others until they’re perfect. If we did, as Schiraldi said, then no one would be loved.

“Love is a choice and a commitment that we make each day, despite our imperfections,” Schiraldi said. And we can make the same choice and commitment to love ourselves as well, warts and all. According to Schiraldi, what helps to cultivate self-acceptance is mindfulness, which teaches compassion for the self and others along with the ability to sit with painful emotions. (Here’s another way to cultivate self-compassion.)

Again, having a positive self-esteem isn’t selfish. It’s important for leading a fulfilling, healthy life, which in turn helps you help others.

Here are signs of low self-esteem. If you see yourself in them, you can use the tips outlined here to help.

MARGARITA TARTAKOVSKY, M.S.
Article from http://psychcentral.com/lib/2012/