By Scott Bartley
Article from ezine
The myth is that there is self-esteem in the human makeup but in really it is only made up idea that people have self-esteem for you have to learn that it exist and what it means and how to feel about it and express your self-esteem. It is a idea that was develop within the Universities and then taught in classes and in order to get a degree in psychology you have to know it and it has been coded into psychological ideas yet it is very confusing idea. The facts are you can go to another culture and ask about self esteem and they would just look you, for it would have no meaning what so ever in that culture. So the whole idea of self-esteem is a new cultural made up idea about how you should think and feel while you interact with others in life and form judgment about your self and others with the idea of your self-esteem. Since self-esteem is a repackaged idea from the 70's of, "I am number one" that deals with a type of feeling that is produces emotionally within interaction with others that is base in fear within this culture. The self-esteem idea is like the idea behind "I am number one" leads to self-centered ness and narcissism which is a emotional numbness to lessen fear of self while there is interaction with others, for it is a protection of ones feeling of being out of place or weak and not knowing.
What makes self-esteem damaging ideas is believing self-esteem is part of a persons decision processing to do something that is good or harmful to one self and others. The idea that there is real self-esteem thoughts that are influencing a persons in any major way in their decision to behave that hurts others and them self can not be tested or proven. Is having low self-esteem (under the psychological ideas of self-esteem) feeling after person did something that hurts others, is that not good.
Example of a excuse using self-esteem as one of the causes of his bad behavior from a 13 year old male that was taught about self-esteem at his age and he has a problem in his self-esteem. He got into a fight at school and got kick out. In explaining his behavior and reason for the fight he used the self-esteem card as part of why he started to be physical with the another student. Understand he is in a family that has lot of emotional conflicts but self-esteem is not part of his problem yet he was told he has low self-esteem and now he is using it to give reason for his bad behavior and now the question, what can he do with his low self esteem but improve it but how. The way you improve self-esteem is think more highly of your self or love your self more which leads to become more self-centered which is more self love. There is a logic process to the development of self-esteem which is to form self love. The higher self-esteem leads to self-centered ness which can be seen as higher emotional state of self-love then the next stage of development in the logic to the ideas of self-esteem after self-centered ness is narcissism which is the height level of self love.
Self-esteem is what you think and speak about your self while you interact between others and if you have high opinion of your self, that is high self esteem. If you think and speak bad about your self you have low self esteem. Now here is the question. If you have low self esteem can a person behave in good way and help others? If person has high self-esteem can a person do hurtful behavior to others and them self.
Here is the another question, do people in general go and do special exercises to develop their self-esteem? If you can not do very special exercises to develop your self-esteem then it is not clear what self-esteem is and what can you do to enhance self-esteem. So if there are special exercises then everyone that does them would have develop their self-esteem to higher level therefore be great people.
The gyms should have programs to develop personal self-esteem through their exercise programs. Gyms can produce high self-esteem after work out when person looks in the mirror and see the affects from working out they can feel good. It does make you feel good after a good work out and your muscles are tight and larger. But then again it can produce low self-esteem after a good work out and you look in the mirror and the muscles are not large enough. Confusion of ideas here can exist within purpose that produce learned self-esteem emotional problems. Since self-esteem is made up idea to deal with confused emotional feeling cause by other sources.
To have high self-esteem is about what you feel about your self for its thinking (judgment is the question here and self-esteem does not judge right or wrong within emotional thinking) of one self in the best of light in what ever behavior person is doing within interaction with other people.
Thinking only good about one self produces a self-centered person for they have high self-esteem all the time and project that feeling to every one around them. To be self centered within interaction with everyone around you is that not expressing your love of your self which is high self-esteem. It is reasonable that the next level of developing self-love which is base in self-esteem is self-centered ness and the highest level of self-esteem is NARCISSISM which is complete love of ones self. Logic would dictate within self-esteem ideas and reasoning more self-esteem is best which develop into the height of self love narcissism.
The logic and reasoning process within self-esteem ideas and how it is being taught and thought of in the psychology world of use, a persons goal for development of high self-esteem leads to narcissism, a complete love of one self.
The biggest psychological problem today is narcissism in relationship and is not narcissists "self-love" and the ideas behind self-esteem is self-love is that not one in same. Making excuses base on self-esteem is a learned method, so person does not have to change their personal values in behavior and develop wisdom to work with others for all you need is high self-esteem, self-centered ness and narcissism and everyone can be fine. Self-esteem ideas are learned and within that process and the logic and reasoning will produce narcissism for its all about self feeling and not having emotional conflicts within person when they interact with others and get feed back about them self.
With high self-esteem it is told, you will have no emotional conflict, you will have pease of mind and emotions and others can not bring you down. The benefits to have high self-esteem, in the psychological ideas of today, you will have calmness of mind and body and you can be superior to others around you.
The reason self-esteem is a fad idea is, it did not exist in text books or popular book until about 90's. So all the great thinkers of the past in psychology miss a major idea of self-esteem as an important part of a persons basic makeup personality. Like all fads there is build up to the idea of self-esteem and it comes from the idea that child should not feel the emotional pain of losing in sports or in competition for it creates hurt feeling and that is a lose of self-esteem. Losing hurts when you work hard at something, that is fact but its life you learn more from losing then from winning but winning feels so much better. There is a real benefit to be learned from by working hard and its called character which forms the person emotional physical reality that is used within interacting with others for its the self being projected. You develop personal character from trying things in life and learning from losing and winning and become better at what you do. When you win that support what your doing is better then every one else. Losing means you have to improve and you learn how and creates meaning within what you are doing physically to affect your mental emotional.
The ideas behind self-esteem where not even talk about in the 50's through the 70's in colleges and in books. The idea behind self-esteem is to glorify self-centered ness (self-love) feeling while you interact with others and that promote narcissism.
The other clues that the idea of self-esteem is just a fad and made up idea for developmental feeling is in how professors redefine self-esteem to fit into psychological problems and justifying the ideas into human bad behavior and saying they did it because they have low or bad self-esteem.
Every culture, groups and family produces conflictive emotional feeling of some type that is normal and individual have to be come wise about that within their own personality and expression. We all have to find ways, so your individual spirit can realizes ways to express positive emotions in life. Wisdom is a good word to be understood and the realization within one self and to ENJOY the culture you where born into. Every culture is a struggle to produce goodness yet realize they could be wrong. Learning about your spirit within your physical being and the demands of the culture, groups and family is the test that makes person character, and from the development of character comes joy of your life and realization of what your were born into and the tests of competition. The word love is define within each culture a little differently yet it is in all culture for its energy bond between people within a physical being affected by chemistry.
Feeling are created within culture and its centered around physical fear of life that humans have. So every culture produces range of feeling and words that make those feeling clear and workable within the culture. Self-esteem is a develop idea to deal with what this culture produces in fear on a personal level. But the feeling and how to deal with the feeling that self-esteem is suppose to address with its ideas of self-esteem, is a psychological base ideas, to address this cultures emotional conflicts. People are spiritual being so there are two types of fears, unlike animals have only one, one is physical safety and how you define that danger to ones physical body. The other is emotional fear that your emotional reality will be attack which cause very strong physical pain. So there are physical and emotional fears within people make up and the ideas of self-esteem address emotional fear that affects physical body.
What is a better idea that individual can work from to develop a stranger personality and character to deal with this culture induce emotional conflict? The ideas and reason behind a Sociological word ANOMIE address the learned culture conflict of feeling being out of place with groups and one self. Since humans being are spiritual being they have to deal with psychological and sociology learned feelings and develop one self within context of life and expression of their good nature and fight to become strong within the contest of one self through interaction. Person only learns about them self through interaction with others and testing and developing your spiritual nature and the bond person have between each and with others.
Anomie is old sociological term to explain the emotional confusion of are culture and the struggle to over come personal feelings that produces fear. The short definition is "lack of purpose, identity, or ethical values in a person. A senses of rootlessness and disorganization, produces emotional conflict in the self and confusion produces fear. People take drugs because of ethical values for there are laws that where develop to fight that behavior for good reason and its base on survival of the society and the health of the person. When person knows the law and reasoning behind the law yet breaks the law by using drugs that is a ethical values issue where the persons ideas thinking is about the self wanting and not self-esteem. Emotions within ethical values are learned and realized through interaction with others and has to be supported within the groups otherwise their is emotional conflict of purpose. It is physically and emotionally exciting going against the group. Its testing the rules and if you can get away with it create feeling that your better then others.
People can affect and change emotional conflicts within the word anomie and its ideas and reasoning and logic within the interaction with other people for its deal with ethical behavior that affects on a person emotional state. The psychological word self-esteem which is base in self-love, leads to emotional distress and shut down of emotions which can be seen in the psychological emotional state of narcissism.
In today world of ideas there is a real need to have balance and understanding differences between sociological influences and physical psychological emotional affects on people in a general way. The idea of social order so people feel free to express emotions and develop them and not be out of place and condemn. With ethics people can feel and believe and have trust that lets emotions be dynamic and safe and life enjoyable. The culture confusing of ethics from drug use, crime and personal relationships and what is families has hurt everyone today and has made it harder to decide what is emotionally real and the affects on emotional behavior ability.and feelings for it has made it hard to develop ones emotional spirit to be connected to other people by not having trust in others to what you are doing.
Anomie the sociological term is culture base emotional conflicts idea being created by feeling different and not being connected to others around you. This condition does create emotional distress by the fact you can not trust others around you for its founded on disorganization, rootlessness which is not being connected to family, groups and trust between people will create high distress within groups of people. Every culture will have different degree of anomie but some have none, and how each person deals with the emotional conflict affects of anomie in a psychological way. So psychological feeling is base on two forces and it begins from with out, from the culture to family development leaned foundation of expression and emotional love connection within personal relationship. Then there is spiritual being taking in the culture he has be born into with his abilities.
Here are some suggestion that has created and has cause such high level of anomie that did not exist 50 years ago. Keep in mind there has been levels of anomie but the level today is far greater then in the past. In fact at the turn of the century the level of anomie compared today was very low for trust between people was so much higher. A mans word was his bond and people trusted leaders in business and business people trusted what each said. The rule of law as a influence between people conducting business was second to a mans word for the value of the spirit of deal was ruling forces not the letter of the law. The fact that the largest business traction was conducted on the street and hand shake and agreement for one billion dollars transfer was done in one day and on few pieces of paper and every one agreed to see the transaction as it was. The spirit of the business transaction was the heights idea and the law was there to support it. Now its about the letter of the law and fear, that you do not have enough letters in a contract to cover all the possibilities and not the spirit of intention of purpose.
In today culture lawyers are most powerful group in enforcing ideas and defining transaction. But the lawyer job is to not be clear so you can argue a opinion in court. The purpose of law today is not clarity between people but ability to take to court and argue a case and win. Lawyer are about winning at any cost and the biggest cost is truth. With out truth how can trust exist and you can not trust the courts of today to be far and clear. Anomie develop out of not trusting, feeling out place because you do not know the rules of game. In today culture being honest can get you into lot of trouble in court of law after lawyer get done with you. They have set up the rules of the game so honest man can not win for its up the his lawyer being better then the other one. Example juries do not see all evidence only what a judge thinks is right and they made up rules so good people can not make good judgment in a case of law.
Not knowing that your doing things right, is a state of anomie that produces emotional fear and how to deal with the culture reality of not promoting trust and the courts letting bad people off after hurting others around them. Not telling the truth by lawyer is so common now yet people want to believe yet they know they are not tell the truth. Lawyer are so powerful they can make up anything to win with no real problem created for them. Lawyer are trained to be "a moral" and immoral but NEVER MORAL. There is no right or wrong in principles to lawyer training and that carries over into their personality.
The fear of the law by common good people and the confusion of the law you can not understand it now, makes anomie exist in this culture for you can not trust and that affects person emotional state and ability with other around them it make fear between people for you may get sued and you do not know why so do not get to close to other people. Example of fear is working with children into days environment so good people stay way from interacting with children. But when you go to what is called primitive cultures males working and teach children with NO fear and the children are enjoying being close to adults. Today children are taught to fear adults and that was not the case 50 years ago.
This is only one example of culture induce emotional conflict that people have to over come the fear of life they live. It just has to take a good lawyer to do bad thing and your life that you knew is gone and you have no real personal power to stop it or change it for you have to trust in something you cannot trust produces emotional conflict.
Anomie understanding is far better to help people deal with confuse emotional behavior then the idea of self-esteem that can only lead to narcissism.
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